Originally broadcast on BFM 89.9 – The Business Station: 🎙️ Listen to the Full Conversation: Sheila Singam discusses Operating At Cause Instead Of Effect on BFM 89.9’s Raise Your Game podcast with Freda Liu & Rayhaanah Omar. (Run time: 18:31 mins). Published on 28 November 2014.
Key Takeaways
- The “Cause vs. Effect” Paradigm: Operating “At Cause” means taking total ownership and responsibility for choices, behaviors, and business outcomes. Operating “At Effect” means living as a victim of external circumstances, market shifts, or team limitations.
- The “Who is Driving Your Bus?” Metaphor: Executive leaders must actively take the steering wheel of their organisation and personal mindset rather than sitting as passive passengers swept along by corporate friction or economic turbulence.
- Eliminating the Culture of Blame: When leaders operate “At Effect,” they justify failure with excuses and external blame. Shifting to “At Cause” forces a mindset shift from “Why is this happening to us?” to “What can we do to control the outcome?”
- Developing an Internal Locus of Control: High-performing enterprise leaders possess an internal locus of control, recognising that while external variables cannot always be predicted, the strategic response and outcome are entirely within their power.
- Empowering Organisational Accountability: Leaders who consistently model operating “At Cause” set a cultural standard that dismantles victimhood, encourages proactive problem-solving, and drives continuous execution across all managerial tiers.
Have you ever had one of those days where everything feels like a conspiracy against you? Your alarm fails, someone cuts you off in traffic, and a colleague snaps at you before you even sit down. By 9:00 AM, you feel completely drained, defeated, and thoroughly annoyed. In these challenging moments, a familiar question usually creeps into our minds: “Why is this happening to me?” If you find yourself asking this, you are not alone; however, this simple question reveals a hidden mental trap, and learning the shift of operating at cause instead of effect is the first step to reclaiming your personal power.
Let us break down what this actually means and how a simple shift in your perspective can completely reclaim your personal power.
What is Cause and Effect?
In life, we always sit on one side of a very important equation:
Cause ≥ Effect
Operating at Effect:
This is when you believe outside circumstances control how you feel, think, and behave. You view yourself as a product of your past, your upbringing, or your environment. When things go wrong, you look outward for someone or something to blame. This is the victim mentality.
Operating at Cause:
This is when you take 100% responsibility for your own life. You manage your own emotions. You own your achievements. Instead of seeing roadblocks, you see a series of opportunities. Even when adversity strikes, you ask: “What can I learn from this?” This is the victor mentality.
“Who is Driving Your Bus?”
The co-founder of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Richard Bandler, used to ask a brilliant question: “Who’s driving your bus?”
Basically, who is in control of your journey? Are you the driver deciding where to go? Or are you sitting in the back, letting someone else take you to their destination?
When you live at effect, you hand over your car keys to everyone else. You give other people the power to dictate your happiness.
I remember talking about this with my friend Freda Liu on BFM. I told her:
“Freda, I could make you a cake, but I can’t make you angry. You are choosing to feel angry towards me.”
It sounds tough, doesn’t it? Taking complete responsibility is incredibly challenging. It forces us to stop making excuses. But once you accept this truth, it becomes the most liberating feeling in the world.
From Victim to Victor: Rayhaanah’s Story
To show you how powerful this shift is, I want to tell you about Rayhaanah. Rayhaanah is a wonderful South African radio presenter. For the majority of her life, she lived on the effect side of the equation. She was living for everyone else. She constantly tried to meet community expectations and societal pressures.
Rayhaanah has worn a face veil for over thirty years. In her travels, people often reacted to her dress with discomfort. Living at effect made her feel apologetic. She kept wondering if she was doing something wrong.
Then, Rayhaanah joined my NLP training programme. Through the tools she learned, she had a massive breakthrough. She realised that she owned her own mind and thoughts. She stepped out of her comfort zone. She chose to stop carrying the emotional baggage of other people’s reactions.
Rayhaanah describes the moment of her transformation beautifully:
“And learning about cause and effect was like striking a gold mine. It was like saying, hang on a minute. You know, who am I in this whole equation of my life and who am I living for? Why am I alive? What am I meant to do? And why am I not operating at full cause in my life when I can do that?”
— Rayhaanah Omar
Today, Rayhaanah lives fully at cause. She kayaks, climbs mountains, and eats clean—fully veiled, confident, and entirely unapologetic. She did not change the world; she changed her internal conversation. She chose self-love.
Watch Rayhaanah’s Journey: For 15 years, studying NLP was just a bucket-list dream for Rayhaanah Omar. In this quick video, she shares how stepping into the classroom with Human Equation sparked a complete revolution of her mind, heart, and soul—helping her find true excellence beyond mediocrity.
How to Start Operating at Cause Today
You do not need to be perfect 100% of the time. Even I occasionally yell at drivers who cut me off! We are human.
However, the secret lies in pulling yourself back quickly. The brilliant poet Maya Angelou once said:
“If you can’t change the things around you, then change your attitude towards them.”
The next time you feel a wave of negativity, try this short exercise:
- Catch the Language: Are you saying “I have to”, “I must”, or “I can’t”? Switch those words to “I can”, “I will”, and “I want to”.
- Reframe the Failure: If a project fails, do not label yourself a failure. Ask yourself: “What feedback is this giving me to improve next time?”
- Check Your Baggage: If someone is rude to you, recognise that it is their baggage, not yours. You do not have to absorb it.
Are You Ready to Take the Wheel?
Operating at cause is a practical skill. Just like any other skill, it takes practice.
Take a moment today to compare your feelings. Think of the times you lived at effect and felt weak. Now, think of the times you stood at cause, made things happen, and felt incredibly strong. Which feeling do you prefer?
You have the power to change your internal narrative. You just need the right tools to unlock it.
If you are ready to stop letting external circumstances drive your bus, let us talk. Explore our personal development frameworks at Human Equation, and let us help you start your own journey from victim to victor.
Frequently Asked Questions
How can I practise operating at cause instead of effect when I am under extreme stress?
Start with your language. Under stress, we often use helpless words like “I can’t” or “I have to”. Pause and consciously ask yourself: “What is one small thing I can control right now?” This immediately shifts your brain from panic to active problem-solving.
Does operating at cause mean I have to blame myself for bad things that happen to me?
Not at all. There is a huge difference between blame and responsibility. You cannot always control external events or the actions of others. However, you are fully responsible for how you choose to respond, heal, and move forward.
How does an NLP certification Malaysia programme help with personal transformation?
An NLP certification programme provides concrete, practical mental tools. It helps you identify limiting beliefs, clear away old emotional debris, and restructure your internal dialogue so you can consistently operate at cause.
What should I look for when choosing the best NLP training in Malaysia?
The best NLP training in Malaysia should be led by a certified, highly experienced trainer and recognised by international bodies like the American Board of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (ABNLP). Look for programmes that combine rigorous theoretical frameworks with practical, real-world business applications rather than purely theoretical instruction.
How is a professional NLP course in Malaysia structured?
A comprehensive NLP course in Malaysia typically covers foundational patterns such as the Cause versus Effect mindset, sensory acuity, anchoring, and language patterns. High-quality courses offer structured modules designed to facilitate deep personal and professional transformation, enabling participants to apply these behavioural tools in leadership and corporate environments.
Where can I attend accredited NLP training in Kuala Lumpur?
Accredited NLP training in Kuala Lumpur is available through premier consultancy firms like Human Equation. These programmes are tailored for leaders, HR professionals, and executives seeking to master cognitive patterns, improve organisational communication, and drive strategic growth within their teams.
Transcript: Tools for Transformation – Operating at Cause Instead of Effect
Transcript: Tools for Transformation – Operating at Cause Instead of Effect
Show: Raise Your Game (BFM 89.9)
Host: Freda Liu
Guests: Sheila Singam (Human Equation) and Rayhaana Omar (Radio Islam, South Africa)
Freda: Good morning. This is Freda Liu. It’s Raise Your Game. Today, we have Sheila Singam from Human Equation, and Rayhaana Omar, who is a radio presenter for Radio Islam in South Africa but is based in Malaysia. In our series, we’re going to be meeting the last Friday of every month, but it’s around “Tools for Transformation: Taking Charge of Your Results”.
So, you know, sometimes you feel you’re stuck in a rut and life is passing you by. Do you often ask yourself, “Why is this happening to me?” or look back at your past and find it’s holding you back from getting what you want? So we’re going to go through, you know, some of these tools that have helped people. And today’s particular topic is “Operating at Cause Instead of Effect”. And so that got me thinking. So maybe, you know, you can just start off talking about these tools for transformation that we’ll be discussing on a monthly basis, Sheila?
Sheila: Okay.
Freda: Welcome back.
Sheila: Thank you, Freda. Nice to be here again. Tools for Transformation is about a series of tools that people can use – very practical tools to really change the way they feel, change the way they operate, and get into the empowering states that they want to be in; adopt some empowering beliefs that are going to propel them forward to achieve what they want in life; and, you know, how to set really powerful, well-formed outcomes that will actually become a reality.
Freda: And I know what we’re discussing here is around the basis of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and also coaching, but sometimes the word “NLP” scares people away. So, until you see it come to practical use, then people understand it better.
Sheila: Yeah, I’ve had that experience because I use it in my corporate training. I do a lot of corporate training, and I move away from using the tools of NLP because sometimes people get very confused and say, “But that’s a therapy-based modality, you know?” So what I’ve done is taken it and extrapolated it into corporate use, and I’ve just got such amazing results from people at my training who say, “Wow, this is such powerful stuff. What is it?” And I will say, “Well, it’s basically NLP.” “But I thought that was just to clear people’s minds and all that.” I said, “Well, that’s the perception people have, but there’s so much more that you can do with it.”
Freda: Okay, so today’s topic is to operate at cause versus operate at effect. What it means, and some examples.
Sheila: Okay. To operate at cause is to actually take responsibility for achieving what you want in life. It’s taking responsibility to manage the way you feel. It’s taking responsibility for the achievements that you want in your life. Okay. People who operate at cause are the people who see life as a series of opportunities, and seize those opportunities and make the most out of them, and look at what they can learn from the adversities that happen in their life, as opposed to having the victim mentality, right?
People who operate at effect have this very victim mentality: “Oh, this happened to me. Why me? I’m a product of my past. See what my parents did, my teachers did, and this is why I cannot go further in life.” So these are people who operate at effect.
Freda: Okay. Now, okay, all right. Some examples, perhaps?
Sheila: Okay. An example of someone who operates at cause is someone who… Okay, let’s say a person has been abused as a child, whether it’s physically or sexually abused. A person who operates at effect will carry all of that, will go through life blaming their parents for not protecting them or blaming the perpetrator, and holding on to a whole bunch of negative emotions and negative beliefs because they say, “You know, I am the product of what happened to me, and see – look at me, poor me,” yeah?
And people who operate at cause could be a person who went through the same thing but decided, at some point in their life, to say, “You know what? That doesn’t define who I am. That doesn’t make me who I am. I can be better than that. I can let all of that go, and I can move forward to achieve what I want.”
Freda: I’m thinking of Oprah Winfrey.
Sheila: Absolutely! Now, there’s a woman whose life is totally at cause, not only for herself, but she’s causing things in the lives of others as well.
Freda: Okay. So why is it important to operate 100% at cause, 100% of the time?
Sheila: No, I tell people this and they say that that’s impossible. Okay. And I say, “Yeah, it might be.” Mm-hmm. Because even I, myself, occasionally… I mean, I’m not operating 100% at cause all the time. Yeah. I sometimes yell at the fellow who cuts into my path when I’m driving.
Freda: Humans!
Sheila: Yeah, but it’s like… It’s that, okay, pulling yourself back and saying, “Now, why am I doing this? Why am I reacting? Why am I giving the other person power over my life?” Whether it’s in an office situation or a personal relationship, the minute somebody begins to affect you negatively and you allow them, then you are operating at effect. Because really, Freda, if you were to say to me, “Sheila, you’re making me very angry,” I would come back to you and say, “Freda, I could make you a cake, but I can’t make you angry. You are choosing to feel angry towards me.”
Freda: You know, I think also one of the things that I go through… It’s like, sometimes when I’m not happy about a particular situation or whatever, I always ask myself, “Why am I not happy?” and dig deeper, you know, and find out why, and get to the root cause of it – because it’s never other people.
Sheila: No.
Freda: Right? As much as you’d like to blame everybody, it’s never other people. Like, how you want to… How you want to see the world, the map of your world.
Sheila: You are absolutely right. This is a very difficult concept for a lot of people to accept – the fact that, “Oh, what do you mean I have to take 100% responsibility and operate at cause? How can that be? So many things, circumstances, are there impacting my life. People are there doing things to me, making me feel this way and that.”
But the point is, you’ve got to stop short and say, “Who’s driving the bus?” You know, Richard Bandler, one of the founders of NLP, always said, “Who’s driving the bus?” Basically, who is in control of the bus that you’re in? Are you the driver deciding where you want to go, or are you sitting there and letting somebody take you to where they want to go instead of where you want to go?
Freda: Okay. And, you know, we’re going to hear from Rayhaana Omar after this, and how she operated at cause and not effect after this. I’m also speaking to Sheila Singam from Human Equation. It’s our “Tools for Transformation” series in Raise Your Game, BFM 89.9.
Commercial break: Business friendly Malaysia, BFM 89.9.
Freda: It’s Raise Your Game. Good morning. This is Freda Liu. I’m here with Sheila Singam from Human Equation and Rayhaana Omar, who is a radio presenter for Radio Islam in South Africa. She’s currently based in Malaysia. It’s our “Tools for Transformation” series, and talking about taking charge of results. And today, it’s about operating at cause instead of effect. So, Rayhaana, I want to hear from you a little bit about yourself, you know, and this operating at cause and operate… You know, what that meant for you.
Rayhaana: Hi. Hi, Freda. Thanks for having me here with Sheila on the programme today. I think… I think when I look at operating at cause in my life, for me, it was perhaps the most empowering time in my life because it allowed me to realise that the brain has these infinite possibilities that it wants to explore, and I am empowered to make the right choice.
One of the presuppositions in NLP is that I’m in control of my mind and, hence, my thoughts, just as you are in control of your mind and your thoughts. When that came to the surface for me and I realised, like Sheila said, “Whose bus is it? Who’s driving the bus?” and I realised that I need to be operating at a space where I’m in control, where I’m empowered, because I am the one making the decisions for my life – and that was mind-shifting and life-transforming for me.
Freda: Okay. I mean, what was that point? And I’ll have to say that Rayhaana is a lovely lady, in a burka and covered. And what were some of the things that led to you wanting to… Wanting to operate at cause, and were you not operating at cause before?
Rayhaana: I wasn’t. For most… For the majority of my life, I feel I wasn’t operating sufficiently at cause. I was on the effect side of the equation. And, like I would put it, I was more victim instead of victor in my life. And so, with the tools from NLP that I was instituted in and trained by Sheila, I came to realise that I have this choice.
And if you look at most Asian communities, you find that you’re often living your life for everyone else – for a community or societal expectations, for your parents, your grandparents, what’s expected of you. But when you can step out from that comfort zone and move into the stretch zone, you become who you’re meant to be.
So for me, it was really looking back at all the decisions I made in my life and saying, “There are no regrets of what’s happened, but what could have been done differently or done better if I was living at cause?” And learning about cause and effect was like striking a gold mine. It was like saying, “Hang on a minute. You know, who am I in this whole equation of my life, and who am I living for? Why am I alive? What am I meant to do? And why am I not operating at full cause in my life when I can do that?”
So for me, it was the belief to realise that I could consider alternatives, that I could plan, that I could act for myself, that I could enjoy my life for myself, yet live in a state where I’m respectful of others and their opinion of me. So it was a whole mind shift in saying that, for me, it was time to nurture myself. And if I’m ready to nurture myself, I need to start with self-love. To love myself, I need to accept myself. And when I’m ready for that, then I’m ready to live at cause.
Freda: Can you share a particular situation where you actually came to that realisation?
Rayhaana: Sure. I’ve been, like you said, fully veiled – face-veiled – for over 30-odd years. And it was a choice from myself; it was my own discovery and my choice. And along the way, with lots of travelling… I do a lot of outdoor sports, like kayaking, mountain climbing, dressed as I am. You always come in contact with people who may not be ready to accept how you dress, or it may not be part of their map of the world. And I was okay with that, but I was not okay with the feeling I was feeling about it.
Freda: Okay.
Rayhaana: Right? “Am I doing something wrong? Should I apologise for the way that I’m dressed? Should I be doing something that will make others more comfortable with me?”
But when I started living at cause, I was able to look within myself and realise that I have goodness, I have a personality, I have experience, I have information to share and experience – all of this. And I could then choose to live from that space and not be apologetic.
Another big choice for me was, about two years ago, deciding to start eating clean and to start exercising. And fast foods and all of processed foods is society nowadays, right? And I chose to change…
Freda: Rule number one.
Rayhaana: (Laughs) …to change that completely. Where for at least half of my day, it’s raw fruits and vegetables. I don’t really eat processed foods, hardly meat. And that was… In the past, when I was operating at effect, I would have thought, “What will my family think? Won’t it be socially awkward for everybody else?”
Freda: Right.
Rayhaana: Now, living at cause, I’m saying, “How does it make me feel when I’m eating and nurturing my body with what it wants, or when I’m working out and I’m drinking water?” Right? And yes, I’m aware of how others may feel, but I’m not taking that emotional baggage of others – and that works cause and effect for you. I’m not taking that emotional baggage and weighing myself down. I’m living ecologically. I’m taking into consideration the consequences, but I’m making the choices for myself.
Freda: So ultimately, it’s about being comfortable in your own skin?
Sheila: It is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s about being confident and comfortable of the choices you make, and doing what your conscience and your heart and your spirit is telling you to do – not reacting. Basically, living at effect is reacting to the environment and people around you.
People who live at effect will ask, “Why me?” and they’ll give you reasons – multiple reasons – why they cannot or should not do something. And they always focus on the limitations. You have people like this even at work. You tell them, “Okay, let’s do this new project,” and they go like, “Cannot.” And they look at the ‘cannots’ before they look at the possibilities.
Freda: The possibilities, absolutely. Right.
Sheila: Right. And they also, when things don’t work out the way they expect or want, they focus on the failure: “Oh, you know, it failed. I’m a failure.” Whereas a person that operates at cause will look at it as feedback: “What can I take from this? What can I learn from this to improve the process better?” Okay.
You listen to the language. People who operate at effect will say things like, “I have to,” “I must,” “I can’t.” People who operate at cause will say, “I can”, “I will”, and want to.”
Freda: Right.
Sheila: Right? So the language will tell you.
Freda: You know, when people who come for your courses as well… Most of the people already at that, you know, or at that point where they’re wondering, “What’s wrong with me?” or at that point where they are already operating at a higher level, but seeing that we all have some sort of baggage that we carry with us. And I generally think I’m quite positive and all that, but there is always something left over.
Sheila: Absolutely. I have a range of people coming for my courses. You have the people who are really broken, people who say that, “Why am I alive? There’s nothing to look forward to.” I really like that. And then, after the nine-day programme, they have a 180-degree transformation and really go out there and are ready to embrace life.
I have the people who are really there already. They are operating at cause, like, maybe about 80%. And they still come, and they understand the reason why they need to endeavour to operate at cause 100%. It’s not about whether you succeed or not; it’s that knowledge inside of your head that, “I need to do this. Hey, right now, I’m operating at effect. I’ve got to stop myself and look at what I can learn from this negative situation. I’ve got to stop whingeing, and I’ve got to look beyond this to see where I can go with this. What is this teaching me in the school of life?”
Freda: All right. So for you, Rayhaana, you know, like, with this knowledge and all that, what are you doing next, you know, to operate at cause with your life?
Rayhaana: I think it’s a continuous and ongoing journey in life. For you, when you’re operating at cause, you’re discovering more about yourself each day. And that is very exciting. But when you wake up every day, like Sheila said, there’s possibility; there’s opportunity. And when you’re operating at cause, you wake up ready to discover yourself, ready to discover the world, and you expand your map of the world, and you allow in more love, more acceptance, more tolerance, more compassion, more empathy. So I think just every day waking up and knowing that you’re ready to discover more about yourself and the world – that is a journey on its own.
Freda: And we all have our off days. What do you do during your off days? You know, what are some, you know, tools that we can use?
Sheila: I think it’s always having this at the forefront: that I need to be operating at cause to make myself happy inside. You know, the poet Maya Angelou, she said that, “If you can change things around you, then do. If you can’t change the things around you, then change your attitude towards them.” And that’s what operating at cause is.
The world is not going to make you happy. You cannot rely on what’s outside of you – people and circumstances and whether you fulfil your ambition and all that – to make you happy, because contentment comes from inside. And that is the process of embracing living at cause. That when things are not ideal, when the world out there is ready to hit at you, you look inside of yourself and say, “You know what? I’m going to operate at cause, and I’m going to find that inner peace.”
You know, for example, if someone is standing there yelling at you, if you’re operating at effect, you say, “Oh, why is he yelling at me? He’s making me feel small. What’s wrong with me?” And, “I’m angry.” But if you’re operating at cause, you say, “You know what? He’s got his baggage. He doesn’t know how to behave. And that… I’m not going to take that on and, sort of, embrace that and allow that to affect who I am, because I am operating at cause and he’s choosing to be a real jerk. I’m not going to react to that and get into effect.”
Freda: Right. Okay. Any final thoughts, ladies?
Rayhaana: Well, I think that when you start living at cause in your life, you start clearing away the debris of limiting beliefs, the debris of negative emotions. You start discovering yourself, and that is very healing. That’s very empowering when you live from that space and you start discovering the inner you.
Freda: Madam?
Sheila: Operating at cause is a process. Like every skill in your life, it takes practice. It starts with you just sitting down today and saying and asking yourself, “All those times when you’ve lived at effect, how has it made you feel?” and then comparing it with all those times when you’ve lived at cause – you’ve made things happen in your life, you’ve made things happen in other people’s lives, you know, you’ve reacted strongly. How has that made you feel? Compare the feelings inside.
I had a student at one of my workshops saying that was the clincher for him. “I compared the feeling inside, and I realised operating… When I thought of the times I operated in effect, I really felt bad. But when I thought of the times I operated at cause, I felt strong, I felt powerful, I felt so empowered.” And that’s it. It’s about what it makes you feel inside.
Freda: All right. And we’ll hear from Sheila and another guest at the end of next month. It’s time for Christmas, time for the New Year. Sheila Singam from Human Equation and Rayhaana Omar in our “Tools for Transformation” series and Raise Your Game, BFM 89.9.
Thank you for listening to this podcast. To find more great interviews, go to bfm.my or find us on iTunes. BFM 89.9, The Business Station.
